Maybe it’s because it’s Friday (yay!) or it’s because I’ve been away from the WiP for a few days now (not so yay), but I find myself struggling to get stuck in to the revising process this morning. Today, as you may know, I want to do one last (yelp!) read-through before I make all my corrections on-screen, and print out The Final Version of the book. There are so many distractions in the world though, aren’t there? I’m on Twitter, which is great fun, but undeniably diverting, and I’m thinking about another project; my brain is buzzing with about four or five ideas, including some plot details for a sequel to the WiP. No matter how much I tell myself ‘get the current work done first, and then think about new things,’ my brain still fizzes away. I feel like I’ve inhaled powdered Alka-Seltzer.
I’m not sure where all this manic mental energy is coming from – possibly I’m being fuelled by terror right now. I’m realising that I only have a month of the ‘suspended animation’ in which I’ve been living left – after that, it’s going to get real. After that time, I’ll have a much clearer idea of how the rest of my writing career will look, and the steps I’ll need to take to make my dreams a reality. Writing the book, despite how challenging it’s been (and continues to be) is only the beginning.
Given that I don’t like change very much, and it takes me, on average, about a year to make any huge life decision (besides saying ‘yes’ when my husband asked me to marry him, after I’d made completely sure he wasn’t joking), it’s sort of no wonder that I’m feeling a bit uneasy about what might be facing me in January. It’s very easy to faff about, writing a book and having a wonderful time indulging yourself in your favourite activity, but then you realise: hang on. This has to be a viable thing, a real option for me – it has to work. I’m a responsible adult with bills, and stuff. I have books to buy, for God’s sake! Writing is the easy bit, but being a writer? That seems harder. Self-promotion? Not very good at that. Selling your ‘product’? Yeah… not very good at that, either. Even when I worked in a sales role, I used to feel like apologising for having to charge the customer money for their purchase! That’s the kind of person I am. Why did I choose this path in life, again? Oh yeah – that’s right. It wasn’t really a choice. My brain strong-armed me into it.
The only ‘distraction’ I’m grateful for is the fact that I can read the blogs and Tweets of other people in the same boat as myself, and I can see how they do it. I can learn from their wisdom and get inspiration from those who’ve made similar life-choices to me (or, whose brains are made of the same stubborn stuff as mine, at least). That’s a useful distraction, and one in which I don’t mind indulging.
But really – I’d better crack on. This pile of paper won’t edit itself, you know! I hope you’re having a focused, productive and happy Friday, and that your weekend will make you look like this: