Heavy Soul

It’s Monday.

Outside, it looks like this:

Image: myprettypinkpearl.blogspot.com

Image: myprettypinkpearl.blogspot.com

And I’m feeling a bit blech.

You know the feeling – sort of like everything is too much, that your limbs have suddenly decided to tie themselves to the earth, and your brain has become a rock, clashing about inside your skull? That. I’m just not feeling capable today.

I didn’t want to write about this topic, you know. I’ve been sitting here for an hour trying to dredge my brain for anything else – anything a bit more positive – to write about, but eventually I had to conclude that there wasn’t anything else in my head.

Well, that’s not strictly true. I have lots of stuff in my head. A bit of worry; a sprinkling of stress; quite a lot of happiness (it’s just having a quiet day today); a little bit of excitement about an upcoming book festival at the end of June; nervousness that I don’t have any upcoming publications at the moment; curiosity about whether the pieces of flash fiction I wrote at the end of last week are any good and/or suitable for submission to a prestigious competition; resignation that whether they’re any good or not they’ll have to be submitted to said competition because I don’t have anything else I can submit; fear of opening my notebook to see my list of upcoming competition and submission deadlines; and the vertiginous sense of dread caused by the fact that I don’t really have anything to say.

I’ve just read Amanda Palmer’s most recent blog, where – funnily enough – she describes feeling somewhat similar to how I’m feeling now. She takes an extremely sensible approach to dealing with this sort of thing: describe what’s up, and then describe what’s down, and see which one outweighs the other.

Clever lady, Ms. Palmer.

So, here we go.

The Up and Down Game:

Down: My life feels a bit uninspired at the moment;

Up: I’m alive, and healthy, and well.

Down: I haven’t written anything I’m really proud of for a few days;

Up: I’m alive, and healthy, and well.

Down: I don’t think I’m going to make all my (self-imposed) deadlines;

Up: I’m alive, and healthy, and well.

Down: I’m a little bit scared;

Up: I’m alive, and healthy, and well – and not only that, but loved.

There. I feel better already.

Image: conroedentist.blogspot.com

Image: conroedentist.blogspot.com

6 thoughts on “Heavy Soul

  1. Kate Curtis

    Down:

    Sorry you’re feeling a bit blech.

    Up:

    You’re alive, and healthy, and well, and loved and admired and I’m sure you’ll be back to your normal happy self any second.

    Reply
    1. SJ O'Hart Post author

      Yep, me too. Even writing the post was a big help. I’m gradually climbing as we speak… *ears popping*

      Thanks for your support, and your lovely comment, and all the rest of it. 🙂

      Reply
  2. Maurice A. Barry

    When I got up this morning it was exactly like your picture. Now, three hours later, the sun is poking through and the temperature just passed 20. Sometimes it just takes time :>)

    Reply
    1. SJ O'Hart Post author

      Aaah! I see what you did there, Maurice. 😉

      Thanks. Sun is poking through here, from time to time, too. Forecast is good. 🙂

      Reply
    1. SJ O'Hart Post author

      Thanks, Susan. I really appreciate you saying so. It helps a lot to think what I’m doing inspires others, especially when I’m having a bad hair day! Thanks a million. Hope you’re well. 🙂

      Reply

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