This week’s words were:
First date :: competition :: sprint :: prayer :: rats
Image: acatholiclife.blogspot.com
Final Vows
‘Rats. My hands are shaking so badly. I didn’t think… well. I didn’t think they would. You know?’
‘That’s normal. You’re nervous. Completely to be expected. Now – hold still. I want to fix your hair, just here.’
‘Thanks. I wasn’t sure how to get the veil to sit right.’
‘No problem. Look – if it helps, I know how you feel. I was where you are, not so very long ago.’
‘Long enough ago, all the same.’
‘Hey! Cheeky… Anyway. You know what I’m saying. This isn’t a ‘first date.’ You’re not in a competition, with yourself or any other woman. This is your day.’
‘Yeah. I know that. Thanks.’
‘It’s easy to forget it, though. When you’re facing the altar, and it’s just you and Him…’
‘It’ll be wonderful, though. Won’t it?’
‘The best thing you’ll ever experience, in this life.’
‘No pressure.’
‘No pressure. Now, shall I leave you in peace? You’re good to go, when it’s time?’
‘Yes, sure. And thanks, again. Without you – well, without you I wouldn’t even be here. But perhaps a little quiet prayer, just – you know. Before I make my way to the church. It would probably help.’
‘Wise idea. And – hey. Will you do one thing for me?’
‘Sure. Anything. What?’
‘Don’t do like I did, and sprint up the aisle. God will wait for you, okay? Trust me.’
‘Oh – yeah. He’s been waiting all my life, I guess. He can wait a few more seconds, right?’
‘Right. See you in church, Sister Dominic.’
‘Wow, that sounds good.’
‘Doesn’t it? Such a well-chosen name.’
‘Well, thank you. I haven’t earned it yet, though. I hope I’ll be worthy of it, too.’
‘Oh, I have faith enough for us both. You’ll do just fine.’
‘With your help, and His.’
‘Both of which you can rely on.’
‘I know. Thank you, again.’
‘You look beautiful, you know. You’re shining.’
‘Really? That’s what love does to a girl, I guess.’
‘Exactly. Say a prayer for me, won’t you?’
‘For you, always. Forever.’
‘Amen.’
Lovely. Got it with the capital H. Very well done with just dialogue and using all the prompts too.
I was considering leaving out the capital H, just to aid the narrative, but the believer in me wouldn’t allow it… 😀 Thanks, Elaine.
Brilliant. Not a piece of exposition in sight and still utterly engaging. I really like it!
Thanks! 😀
Very human, and I think that’s wonderful as quite often religious people are portrayed in a one dimensional way. Great dialogue like the others said. Well done.
Thanks – I was definitely trying to go for the whole ‘multi-dimensional’, hidden depths idea. Really appreciate your comment, as always. 🙂
It breathes well and at a relaxed pace =)
Thank you for saying so. I’m not sure it achieved what I wanted it to, in that case, but it’s good to know. 🙂
Oh well I hope it didn’t come across as an awkward comment then x3 what was the intended effect ?
Gosh, no! Your comment was lovely, and very welcome, and I thank you for it.
I’m going to leave my intended effect under wraps. Clearly, I didn’t manage it correctly, and the fact that nobody picked up on it is very valuable feedback in itself. Thank you for reading and for commenting. 🙂
It is such a good one! Enjoyed a lot, easy to read (meaning, it was very smooth) and story itself got me intrigued!
Thank you very much, for reading and for commenting. I’m glad you were intrigued by the story. 🙂
I love how you set this up like a mother-daughter conversation the morning of her wedding! Because I knew you wrote it I was waiting for a clever twist but still didn’t guess until ‘Him’. You have a real skill for allowing a story to unfurl itself and meander so naturally through dialogue. Not an easy thing to achieve & you always make it look so easy! Well done.
Thanks so much! I sometimes feel like paring things back and just using dialogue, but I’m sort of sorry I didn’t go for more exposition in this one. Thanks, Emmaleene.